Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in lauraskank's LiveJournal:

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Saturday, December 18th, 2010
12:09 am	is this thing on...? June was the last time I wrote in my livejournal!!!??? This is getting sad... But here I am, doing journal entry #6 for the year 2010... I guess I'm not ready for it to die, but it's limping pretty bad. I HAVE A JOB!!! That's the biggest difference between my previous entry and now. I was hired as a teaching assistant for Albany Cnty Headstart. I work 30 hours a week for a very low amount of money, but it's a job and it's good experience. Plus I get health insurance and my commute is less than 10 minutes so I can't complain how well that worked out for me. During the day I am a "floater" which means I go from classroom to classroom and relieve other teachers for lunch breaks. So I know just about every child in the school. Whenever they see me in the hallway they all want to say hi... "Hi Ms. Laura!" or "Wawa" or whatever version of my name they say. After the regular school day I teach what is called "Extended Day." It's a tough part of the day because the kids are tired and they've been following the rules all day long... But it's given me wonderful experience being a teacher. I have to develop lesson plans and structure the day to keep the rugrats occupied. It's taken me awhile to get it right but as long as I keep trying then I am learning along with my kids. Headstart is a federally funded program started in the mid-1960's to help to eliminate the gap between the have's and the have not's. Not everyone can afford quality child care and preschool to help prepare their children for Kindergarten. So Headstart was created to help underpriveleged families have access to daycare and preschool. So living in downtown Albany you can imagine the clientele we deal with. The majority of the children come in from homes without structure and effective discipline techniques. So there were a lot of behavior problems and continue to be. I had to adjust to how tough I had to be with my friends with challenging behaviors. I couldn't believe how the teachers treated the kids when I first started, but now I see why it has to be done. I still don't like it and I still feel like I am not good at it. What gives me hope is when I see my little friends learning- when they use their words and say please and thank you and when they use their listening ears. It happens, it's only taken four months to see results... haha. I know I've gained a lot of self-confidence over these four months and fallen in love with these kids. They frustrate me to no end, but I go back every day for more abuse. My family is doing well. Everyone's staying healthy- even Gramp! Connor talks up a storm and is proud to go peepee in the potty! His family is equally proud!!! I have always loved spending time with him, but I definitely love talking with him. He doesn't miss a thing and asks a lot of questions. The other day he reminded me of my Papa when his Daddy and his Papa were working in the basement he told me he wanted to see if they wanted something to drink! He's three years old and here he is thinking about the needs of others. My nephew is perfect. I signed up for an online dating service. I've always said it was going to be a last straw and I finally broke down and signed up. I just don't understand how people meet people to start a relationship. I have cousins with four children and younger cousins who have been married twice. I'm sure my extended family wonders what is wrong with me, I know I do! Anyway, I sit at my computer and answer questions and send messages... it's quite time consuming. I've only met two people so far. One was boring and the other was nice and enjoyable so we went out twice and then he disappeared. So I'm not sure what the deal is with him. I've been talking to a few more who seem promising so hopefully I will get to meet them soon. I feel like I get a better sense after I meet them in person. I'm not the best conversationalist, but a relationship doesn't happen via the computer. So I find myself anxious to meet these guys so I can begin to understand who they are. I only took one class this past semester because that was all I could fit in my schedule once I found out about my job. Now unfortunately my job is getting in the way of completing my degree. There are a number of classes I have to take that require field work (essentially being placed as a student teacher). I can't exactly ask for time off as a new employee and the school won't let me use my place of employment for credit because I haven't worked there long enough. So I am stuck. I guess I am just going to take whatever classes I can fit in now and wait until I've worked there long enough to use it as credit for field work. Until then I do have enough credits to apply for my NYS Teaching Assistant Certification. Sometimes I miss doing theatre. I miss the flexible hours, but life is so different when you have a regular schedule. I get up everyday and eat meals at normal times and come home and go to bed at night. I've been sleeping better and feel like I've had less headaches. I do miss being able to go off by myself with my music and work on a project but I love being greeted everyday and having people to talk to. I went from not talking to anyone at work to talking all day long- my throat is still adjusting! When I come home from work I often just sit on my couch and enjoy the silence for some time. Anyway, I am happy. I worry about money and I wish for love, but life is good. I wish everyone a joyous holiday season filled with love and laughter. keep smiling! ~Ms. Laura Current Mood: content (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, June 30th, 2010
12:35 am	looking for the bright side So today I introduced someone to my livejournal and realized how little I have been using it and how much I used to love posting. Perhaps I only loved posting when I thought I had an audience. Now I love updating my status on facebook, again, there's an audience. It's interesting that journal writing and sharing personal thoughts has become so public. Everyone feels the need to self-publish, as if all of our lives are so important. Which they are, or else why would we read other people's statuses? Aside from the obvious pleasures of cyber stalking... So since tonight has been all about procrastinating from the to-do list- I will continue to procrastinate by updating my long lost livejournal. My contract ended at the end of May and I opted to take three classes over the summer. The summer class schedule varies depending on which session you sign up for. I am taking two classes in the first 6 week summer session and one class in the 12 week summer session. I thought it would be a breeze since I wouldn't be working. Well, it has been anything but. I am very thankful for my time management skills! Trying to balance everything and keep up with classes condensed into 6 weeks can get quite stressful. So stressful in fact that I contemplated dropping one of the classes. This is something I have never come this close to doing before in my life. I just got really overwhelmed one night and saw that as my only option. I was smart enough to reach out to my teacher about it and she convinced me to stick it out. She said there was no way she could let me quit when I had come this far. She told me I was a high level thinker and a very thoughtful student. I told her I felt like my brain was mush because I was trying to cram so much into it without enough time to process it. I'm glad I talked to her about it because I felt like I couldn't pull it off and she made me feel like I could handle it. She told me she wanted to help me succeed and she would support me as the learner I was. So I ended up feeling pretty confident in my abilities and also ended up feeling like I had developed a closer bond with this teacher because I had opened up to her. It's not easy for me to open up to someone and admit a vulnerability. I'm sure a lot of people feel the same way. So anyway, I stuck with it and I'm glad I did. I wrote a research paper on arts in education that I am pretty happy with and since my panic attack I have enjoyed every project and presentation in that class. Tomorrow (actually later today) I will be turning in my research paper and giving a presentation on the history of education from the period after the Civil War. I'm excited for her to read my paper and I'm looking forward to presenting my work and watching other group's present their projects. Today I presented five lesson plans involving studying the concept of color using literature. I really enjoyed the project because it's exactly the kind of creative work I want to do with young children. It feels so much more creative than any of the work I have done in the past three years as an artist. I just hope someday I find a job... Speaking of which, being super busy and overwhelmed with classes and learning new things is a great way to keep your mind off of things. Not once this past month have I worried about not having a job (I have worried about money, but that's to be expected) and not once have I lamented the fact that I wasn't in a relationship. There have been many times in my life when I felt like being single was the best thing ever and then there are times when I am jealous and upset that I don't have someone special. I hate the times when I feel pathetic and I know a big part of that has been boredom and dissatisfaction. Somehow I think having a significant other is going to change all that. When there really is no guarantee of happiness in a relationship. I just always think that because I don't have it, then that's obviously what I need! I obviously can't stay insanely busy all the time just to not deal with my issues, but it has made me realize that those feelings are really coming out of boredom. So now that my crazy class schedule is about to lighten and I have the summer theatre camp to look forward to, things are looking up! I am still worried about eventually finding a job and being able to afford to live in my apartment on my quiet cobblestone street and drive my car and go swing dancing... but I am staying hopeful..... Have a wonderful Independance Day! I will be enjoying time with my family and away from textbooks! keep smiling! Current Mood: content (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, April 2nd, 2010
6:20 pm	ch-ch-ch-changes HA! I just read my last post and laughed at how different things are now. What a difference a few months makes! That person I talked about didn't turn out to be all that wonderful. I tried to keep giving him the benefit of the doubt and "second chances" because I thought I should be more willing to deal with people's quirks and be an adult and try to make a relationship work. This thinking made me put up with juvenile behavior that I should have just walked away from at the first warning signs. As many times as I tried to put those "mistakes" of his in the past, the damage was already done. To sum it up, this person was not comfortable with the amount of time I had to spend with him and the amount of affection I gave him. At various times I was accused of paying too much attention to my cats and being "too obsessed" with my nephew. I understand being insecure, but how do you become so insecure that you say horrible things to the other person? I admit part of the love and attention I give my nephew is probably because I don't have children of my own. A fact that is hard for me to deal with sometimes and I feel incredibly jealous of people who have met someone special and/or have experienced the joy of having a child. However, I do not think that forming a close bond with my favorite nephew is a bad thing and I don't consider myself to be "too obsessed" with him. So I don't feel bad about the break up. It just wasn't right. I do feel bad that he became "too obsessed" with me and then I ended it. I'm just not comfortable being the center of someone's life- get a hobby! Classes are going well. Once I got passed TKAM then I was able to balance work and school. I just wish I had the free time I used to have now that I have spring fever and want to travel beyond upstate New York. I wish I had more time to write, but I am going dancing tonight for the first friday of the month. A friend and his band are providing the music for the event. It should be a fun night! keep smiling! Current Mood: content (Comment on this)
Thursday, January 28th, 2010
11:53 pm	turn around, bright eyes I don't consider myself to be a very religious person, but I do believe in a God. I like to believe there is a being that watches over me and those I care about, both living and dead. I don't pray very often, only when I really want something then I ask for help and guidance in getting it. Most of the time I'm pretty sure this being is too busy to help everyone all the time, so you have to be patient. I met someone on New Years Day. Someone who made me hopeful that 2010 had something good to offer. Then I got discouraged because he disappeared for awhile, but I didn't give up. Finally he came around and we found a time to meet. He invited me to dinner before we went dancing. We danced till midnight then managed to find a bar that was still open on a weekday. Then when that shut down we went to my apartment. I think he left at 3:30AM. I haven't talked and laughed that much with someone in a long time. It felt so good! I'm very excited about seeing him again and he has said the same thing. I feel silly now that I got so discouraged about it, but I was worried that it was yet another missed opportunity. I'm glad we both put forth the effort to find out if we had a connection. So here's to enjoying someone else's company! and here's to smiling! Current Mood: happy (Comment on this)
Wednesday, January 20th, 2010
12:41 am	stop getting your hopes up I'm anxious about taking classes and working full time. I was confident that I could do it and now that classes have started I am nervous, and I only have one syllabus so far! I'm nervous that I'm going to let something slip. I'm too much of a perfectionist to give less than 100%- even though I shouldn't bother at work since it seems like no one else is... but that's beside the point. I'm sure I'll do fine and surprise myself in the end, but I am nervous. I've been feeling a bit down lately. I just watched Bridget Jones' Diary so beware- single girl in her 30's. I shouldn't have watched it. I don't have any close friends in town and I miss the days that I did... I miss talking and laughing in person, instead of messaging on facebook and refreshing the page to see if anyone has updated their status with anything interesting. I feel utterly pathetic. My only companions are my cats and my television and my wonderful family who puts up with me coming to visit so often. At least Michael will be here in February so I'll have someone to spend time with and I can pretend I am in a relationship for two months. keep smiling... Current Mood: pathetic (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, January 6th, 2010
12:41 am	new computer, new year, what else is new? As you can see by the subject line, I have a new computer. I am the proud owner of a new, very shiny hp laptop. I was able to score a Best Buy gift card by redeeming points on my credit card, so I got a decent computer and felt like I was getting a deal with the gift card. Now I just have to figure out how to get everything that I use onto this computer- not easy for the non-computer savvy... and my computer-savvy friend is busy busy so he can't come to visit. Instead of rolling up my sleeves and figuring it out myself, I choose to just keep putting it off. I checked a big item off the to-do list today though- that was "pay for classes" Check. Schools like it when you pay for classes, even if you wait for the last minute to do so. I feel like I am really committed to the idea of changing my life's path and as usual I have doubts. I feel like I turned and walked away but I keep looking back. I have to keep reminding myself that theatre is all I know right now and that is how I can make my money. But there is a part of me that feels like I will never be able to "kick the habit" but I also don't want to. I still want to do theatre, just not like I am now. I don't know if ten years from now (in the year 2020, folks...) I will be saying, "I used to do theatre, but not anymore" or if I will still feel a desire to be involved. Without a crystal ball I lack the answer... but I just hope I am happy. As for my classes I chose to take only two classes since I am still working. I am taking Child Development and Classroom Management. CD is an online class, which I have never done before so I am anxious to see what that is like. Work life is same as it always was. Same incompetent people, different day. I was told if I came back to work I could have more money to hire overhire to help during the busy times, then once I was hired back on staff I was told we had no money for overhire and had to use our show budgets for all expenses. One could argue that he didn't know they would run out of money... but stop making promises you can't keep. I've definitely had enough of certain people. This current show hasn't been exciting or challenging to paint and the rest of the season is being designed by someone who doesn't bother to do proper paint elevations. So the glass is half empty, but with a light at the end of it because I am no longer contracted through the summer. So sadly I will be unemployed, but happily I won't be working there anymore. I am hoping the YMCA will have a position open for next year and I can gain some good experience. So... I feel like I am taking steps in a new direction. Small steps that require me to be patient. Sometimes change takes time, I wish it was like deciding to change your hairstyle and then scheduling a haircut. I am also experiencing some activity in the relationship department- nothing to report, no change in status... but there are two possibilities on the horizon. Yes, two. I am hoping for the best and trying not to let on that I feel desperate and pathetic. I was recently told by more than one person that I am intimidating to guys and this worries me. This worries me quite a bit because I don't know what to do about it. So that is my life lately- trying to not strangle my co-workers and trying to not be intimidating and trying to figure out what and who I want to be when I grow up. I will keep smiling, and so should you. Current Mood: confused (Comment on this)
Sunday, December 20th, 2009
1:47 am	santa is coming! Hello! Just wanted to wish everyone out there in livejournal land a wonderful holiday season! I'm getting excited because I can't wait to see Connor on Christmas morning and laugh with my family for a few days. Today we had our family gathering on Dad's side of the family. LeeAnn took this great picture of Jonathan and Connor that I had to share. The picture was taken as Santa arrived to say hello to the little ones. This is what Christmas is about. Stay warm and keep smiling! Current Mood: content (Comment on this)
Saturday, November 21st, 2009
10:55 pm	posting twice in november! Well, the show is in previews and as far as I can tell the notes are done. I ended up doing exactly what I didn't want to do, which was come in at the last minute and bail them out by putting in all the late night hours to get the show painted to everyone's satisfaction. I was asked to go back on salary so I could help Sara finish the show. It became evident that she wasn't going to be able to pull it off by herself. I tried not to take charge, but it just kinda happened. The scrims ended up needing to be redone. The dried paint on the back never came off enough to make them pretty, plus the director and designer wanted the composition to shift up two feet and the colors be lighter and "more romantic." I was upset about having to put in all that work again, but they ended up looking prettier the second time plus it took me 16 hours, which was four hours less than before! So Monday was a stressful day, but worth it because I never got another note about the scrims. What I did get note after note about was the floor. Sara never got a chance to finish it in the shop and on stage under stage lights it was just flat and lifeless. So almost every night this week I have worked until 4 or 5 in the morning doing various scumbly washes and spatters to achieve something satisfactory. It made me wish I had just painted the floor myself. I think it is finally done, fingers crossed. I worked until the wee hours of this morning and then was rudely awakened about four hours later by 15-20 motorbikes in the parking lot across the street. I don't know what was going on today but I was so angry. Now they are out there again. I should call the police on them for disturbing the peace. I want to go to bed, but it's pointless to try to fall asleep now. Today I started a project for a co-worker who sets up a Christmas village scene every year and wanted his background repainted. He is one of those people who doesn't tell you what he wants, he thinks he's doing me a favor by letting me be "creative." I am good at my job because I am good at copying things, I am not really an artist. So I am just painting a generic snow covered mountain scene with some pine trees and he will love it. Go home motorbikes!!!! Current Mood: annoyed (Comment on this)
Saturday, November 14th, 2009
7:02 pm	wow, it's mid-november HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY GRAM!!!!! I love you lots!!! I've been very busy lately. Working two jobs is tough and the commute to Schenectady every day is for the birds. Does anyone else wonder where the expression "for the birds" comes from? Work is up to it's usual inefficient, dysfunctional shenanigans. I used to find the dysfunctional nature of theatre to be endearing. Not so much anymore. I was hired to paint a drop for them and use a local university's studio space to do it in. I spent Halloween weekend painting a drop for another local college (which was a great experience). Then Monday I met with Ken, the very talented designer who I like working with. Turns out it's a drop and three scrim panels they want me to paint... AND there are no scrims (they hadn't even been ordered yet), AND the drop is not ready AND there was no petty cash to buy paint with. All of these things are a problem. So I got really upset. They were so far behind with this show. I didn't want to be expected to come in during the 11th hour and fix everything and make it all look pretty. So I sent an email to all those concerned and told them I can only paint these pieces if you provide the materials within a few days. Then once I get them done you are on your own. Well that email got results- they had the drop ready the next day and the ordered the scrims and put a rush on the delivery (don't want to know what that cost them). They gave me the company debit card to buy paint with. So I used the help of Ken's lovely painting students to get the drop done in a few days. Then I painted the scrim panels in the shop. They looked beautiful (as scrims usually do) but the plastic I had laid them out on did not play nicely. The dried paint underneath had stuck to the back of the scrim. I was very sad. I had to go to my other job, so I had to leave it in the hands of my co-workers. I'm not sure which I was more upset about... The next day I found out their solution sort of worked- only they lost one of the scrim panels. That's right, they misplaced it... and couldn't find it for quite awhile. What I can't find are the words to describe what things are like over there. Last night I expected to get a call asking me to come in to do notes. Thankfully I did not, even though I think Ken wanted me too. It's hard for me to not go in and fix everything. This is a good experience for me to not take on everyone else's problems- and it's very difficult! Sometime this month I will go back on salary, then all the problems will be mine again- but I can plan for them. I am glad that Ken is also designing the next show, so we will continue to get to work together. Today I have accomplished very little, but I'm okay with that. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, October 20th, 2009
12:40 am	hurry up and post so i can get back to facebook Hey look! I have a livejournal! I wonder if anybody still reads these... obviously I don't. It's not that I don't care about you all- for the record. I just forget my livejournal exists. Anyway, I will update. Career- I have gotten wind of a rumor that my old job wants me back... I have mixed feelings about this. If they are willing to work with me to figure out a way to have me paint their shows and take the classes I want to take, then I am willing to talk about coming back. If they want to lock me in a badly lit room by myself for countless hours to paint scenery, then no. So I am trying not to worry about it until I hear their side of it. My job at the afterschool program is like an ivy league school graduate working as a janitor. Nothing against janitors- I'm sure you are all very smart. But I am treated like it's expected that I will not do my job. I used to envy people who just had to show up to work and do something easy and they get paid- I didn't realize how they are treated by their supervisors. I'm also bummed that my little friend Jack is gone. His mom got laid off from work so now he and his brother don't come to afterschool program. It's so sad that she lost her job with two young boys to take care of. Recessions really suck. Family- Birthdays coming up!!! Connor turns 2 on Friday! It's crazy how two years have gone by already. I turn 31 on Saturday. Jimmy has been rockin' the sports this year! He did great on his baseball team and helped them get to the semifinals and then was selected by his teammates to play in the all-stars game at the end of the season. Jonathan, Dad and I all drove out to watch that game and see Jimmy pitch 3 innings- he did so well! We were so proud of him and it was so fun to get to be there. Jimmy also bowled a 300, which is a perfect game in bowling. He gets a fancy ring for that. Now he and Daddy have both bowled a 300. Personal life- Nothing to report. Happy leaves changing colors time! Current Mood: restless (8 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, September 29th, 2009
11:45 am	support the arts "That is the power of the arts -- to remind us of what we each have to offer, and what we all have in common; to help us understand our history and imagine our future; to give us hope in the moments of struggle; and to bring us together when nothing else will.  That is what we celebrate here today.”  ~Michelle Obama (Comment on this)
Monday, September 28th, 2009
12:42 am	i have a livejournal... Who keeps forgetting she has a livejournal...? Laura does. I am unemployed. I enjoy the fact that I don't have the stress of getting all the painting done on a show that is behind schedule, but I do miss being busy. I have a job interview on Tuesday for a position in an afterschool program at the YMCA. It's part time, but that makes it easier to fit a class schedule when I start taking classes. So there is a glimmer of hope this week. The job in Virginia is still going through the hiring process, I just don't understand why it takes them so long. I went dancing this weekend. A dance I had never attended before advertised a hustle lesson before the dance. I have been led in a hustle before and loved it, so I thought I would go. I walked in and quickly realized I was the youngest person there, by at least a decade. I don't know why the behavior of old men surprises me anymore... but they can't pass up the opportunity to press up against a younger woman. Partner dancing allows them to do what they would be arrested for anywhere else. There are benefits to this situation: they like to teach you and they like to compliment you on your looks and your ability as a dancer. I just feel so awkward while they are doing it. I did some volunteer work this weekend at the Hudson River Quad Fair. I was bummed to not have time to take a tour of the replica of Henry Hudson's ship "The Half Moon"- it's so beautiful! Going out in public makes me lonely. I see couples with their kids and elderly couples holding hands. I should just start dating one of those old men at the dance since they are the only people who notice me. I might be doing some painting work for Williams College and I have a project at the end of October at Siena College. Today I worked for Vaughn. Even though he still hasn't paid me for the work I did at the end of August. I really hope this doesn't become one of those situations where the production company isn't able to pay people. I really just want to get out of limbo. I feel like nothing is in place and I can't move forward with the choices I have made. It's really starting to get to me and I'm having a hard time staying positive. Give me strength. Current Mood: anxious (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, September 13th, 2009
1:38 pm	sept 13 HAPPY BIRTHDAY WILL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was going to go contra dancing this evening in honor of Will's birthday, but my tetanus arm is still sore... So I might not go. I have missed so many contra dances this summer, which makes me feel dumb since I paid for a membership to the dance flurry organization this year. Okay, I'm going to go back to doing nothing now. Current Mood: bored (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, September 12th, 2009
3:05 am	"between jobs" This week I have taken advantage of my health insurance coverage. I got my teeth cleaned and got a tetanus shot in my now-aching left arm. I'm content knowing I am up to date now. Today I also finally went to see Harry Potter 6. I know, what kind of a HP fan am I if I wait this long to see it in the theaters...? But the upside- I got a private showing in an empty theater! That was pretty sweet. RIP Albus Dumbledore. Still waiting to hear about this job in Virginia. I am preparing myself to apply for jobs should that one not work out. I recently became certified in First Aid and this weekend I intend to get certified in CPR. I hope I never have to use either certification. and a VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Michael!!!! Current Mood: worried (Comment on this)
Friday, August 28th, 2009
6:47 pm	ch ch ch changes... I am done at my job, but I don't feel like I am done. I have been painting a show for our technical director (a good pay rate! yay!) and we have been using the scene shop. So I still feel like I am working there. I was supposed to be done this week, but then he asked me to paint some props for him. Since he's paying me by the hour I said I would come in and do those. Then I am ON VACATION! I am taking an ACTUAL vacation too! Next week I am travelling down to Blacksburg, Virginia to visit my dear friend Michael and meet his daughter Margarita. We plan on surprising Jessi and Rachel with my visit. They are two of Michael's students who we worked with this summer at camp. It's gonna be an awesome surprise- and I love secrets and surprises! The other purpose of my visit is to meet with the woman who runs the daycare center on campus as I have applied for a position there. Yes, that means I could potentially move to Virginia... I know, I'm crazy. But the position offers me the opportunity to take classes for free- and I would get to see Michael's smiling face every day! My heart is still torn about leaving my family, but I at least want to know my options. My life philosophy has now become "nothing is forever" since I seem to not stay anywhere longer than 2-3 years.... I just haven't found what I want yet, and I'm gonna keep looking till I find it! "Maybe you'll never find your purpose" "Lots of people don't..." "Then I don't even know why I'm alive" "Well, who does, really?" Thank you, Avenue Q for always being relevant. Anyway, today I interviewed for a position at a daycare center in Albany. It's working with little babies, which is not the age range I want to work with. There is a big difference between changing diapers and engaging kids in a project. Although it's in the field of childcare. I find out about that one sometime next week. I'm hoping I can find out something about this job in Virginia by then, but the Human Resources Department at the univeristy seems to be in no rush. I am looking forward to Labor Day weekend as my brother Jimmy is coming here. We all have plans to attend the Chatham Fair. It's been years since I've been to the Chatham Fair- I have a fear of carnies... but it will be fun with Connor. I taught him to say "dude" the other day- it's pretty hysterical. Also- I didn't realize this was posted on the albanyswingdancing website: http://link.brightcove.com/services/player/bcpid769549532?bctid=11632129001 It's coverage of swing night at the Fuze. The clips go by too fast for me to tell if I am in any of them, but I was there that night. My friends are interviewed. I love the fact that they never mention what day and time the swing night is... way to go timesunion.com! Anyway, I am off to relax for the evening so I can get up and run some errands tomorrow and finish painting those props. Then enjoy a lazy Sunday and pack for my vacation. Happy weekend everyone! Current Mood: patiently waiting... (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, August 16th, 2009
10:55 pm	way to go bro! This weekend I took a road trip to visit my friend Chelsea and then go hang out with my brother Jimmy. Today I went to Jimmy's baseball game. I kept score in a little notebook like Mama used to do for the church softball games. Jimmy wasn't scheduled to pitch, but they brought him in as the closer to prevent the other team from scoring any more runs. Jimmy did his job and didn't let anyone get on base (only two hits that were thrown out at first). Then it was the bottom of the last inning and they were down by two. Two runs were scored and Jimmy is up to bat with a runner at third. My brother doesn't think of himself as a strong hitter and I watched him get frustrated every time he was struck out during the game. Well, he swung at the first pitch and sent that ball over the shortstop's head and the runner on third came running home!!!! Jimmy's RBI won the game!!!! The team went crazy and Jimmy couldn't wipe the smile off of his face! Everyone called him "hero" and I got to be there for it! What a day! I am so proud of my little brother! I took pictures during the game... ( sorry about the fence in the way ) The only downside to watching your brother play baseball on a hot day... sunburn :( Current Mood: proud (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, August 15th, 2009
12:57 pm	word treasure "Although no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending." ~Anonymous (Comment on this)
Monday, August 3rd, 2009
5:54 pm	turning points and milestones I quit my job today. Yes, in the midst of a bad recession, with unemployment at a high rate... but I just can't take it anymore. I had been thinking about moving on and changing the focus of my career. My stress level was at a high trying to figure out how to fit in a schedule of classes with my irregular schedule at work. On Wednesday of last week they called us in for a staff meeting and announced that we all had to take a ten percent paycut, effective the following week. On the same day I heard they had decided the scene shop was not moving to our newer, much nicer space because our landlord made a counter offer that matched the cost of the new space rental. So we were staying put to avoid the cost of moving. My decision was made for me. I'm not going to put up with being overworked in unsatisfactory working conditions for less pay and deal with the stress of classes. It's time to move on. It's time to take steps towards my goal of inspiring young children to explore their own creativity and imagination. Our future is going to demand some creative solutions to challenges. So I put myself in the hands of fate and remain optimistic about the future. I am blessed with a family who is supportive of my decisions. The only regret I have about leaving my job is I will miss our shop cat, Chloe-Steve. Current Mood: hopeful (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, July 28th, 2009
12:51 am	obstacle course Today was our first day rehearsing in the theater with this large group of energetic kids. The excitement of the day helped provide some focus, so a good amount of work was accomplished. I had a frustrating end of the day though because I needed to get all the puppet projects out of the space at the Egg and over to the theater. Well, getting anything out of the Egg is a huge hassle. Due to the location so close to the capitol, security makes it impossible to get around. Thankfully Maureen and one of our students Jamie came with me, because I would have had a meltdown. First we couldn't find the entrance to the parking garage, so we parked on the street and decided to put the projects on carts and wheel them out to the car. We were informed that it's illegal to wheel things across the plaza. Maureen is a rebel at heart and she decided to take the risk and do it anyway. We would plead ignorance if caught. We only had time to get all the puppet projects and I had wanted some time to gather together the art supplies I would need for the next week or so, so now I have to go back another time and weigh myself down with stuff since there is no way I am trying to get a vehicle in there again. Argh! The other obstacle has been the stage. We didn't get permission to use the nice open space at the Egg. We were told we couldn't even raise our own money for it to happen because the theatre is doing so bad financially. So we are stuck performing on a stage with major obstacles that was not designed for such a large cast. I have a design to cope with it, but it's still less than ideal. Maureen was really angry with the decision about the stage and has told me she plans to put in her resignation soon. This makes me very sad, she is one of the few people I like who works there. We also had to deal with an incident at the end of one of our weeks at the summer camp. One of the students tried to steal my bag. There wasn't even all that much money in it, but my keys and cell phone were in it. If I left without my bag I would have been homeless and not been able to call anyone for help. I was a little panicked and angry. None of the kids was offering up any information about it, so the decision was made to have everyone open their bag and "look through it to see if my bag ended up with their stuff." Well, the girl we had suspected was trying to get out early and when she opened her bag she was trying to move things around to cover it. So in the end I got my bag back and at the time I was just relieved. The girl, Maureen and I talked afterwards and she made up this whole story about how someone asked her to hold it for them and she didn't want to turn them in... but she was obviously trying to get away with it. Soon the shakiness subsided and I went home, but afterwards it really started to bother me. It disappointed me on many different levels. When I try to talk to people about it they don't seem to see the significance, but maybe they would if it was their important stuff they almost lost. The decision she made that day cost her the priviledge to be a part of our company, and I have to admit I'm okay with that. I've also finally made a decision about my future, which means I may someday get around to deciding what I want to be when I grow up. For now, I have decided to start an early childhood education program at a local community college. It's a certificate which enables me to work as a teacher's assistant, then those credits can be applied to an associate's degree. I am extremely anxious about fitting it into my lifestyle with my current job. My next step is meeting with an academic advisor to determine a schedule. Then I have to figure out how I am going to pay for all of this. There is a big part of me that is tempted to quit my job and just live on loans until I can earn my new degree, but the job market is so weak and I need to be cautious of putting myself into too much debt. Where is my Teen Angel? Louis is in Atlanta as of today. His last week of this tour. He just told me he got offered another short tour after this one. I'm thinking it will be another 10-12 years before we see each other again. I really want him to come here to see the kid's performance because it's in between his tours. When I asked him about it, his response was "you never know." He must work for the New York State Lottery... I know he wants to get off the road and I feel for him that he has to take whatever jobs he can get. I'm concerned with how unhappy/tired he is every time I try to talk to him on the phone. I want to be able to make him happy, but I've tried all I can think of. Anyway, that's my life in five paragraphs... I'm sure there is more I could share, but that's enough for now. Current Mood: frustrated (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, July 14th, 2009
11:34 pm	what a day... I can't believe it's only Tuesday... (I guess it doesn't help that I have been working on the weekends...) but it still feels like today was a week long. We split the day up differently so I had one class in the morning and the other at the end of the day. The class in the morning was the best I have had yet. I explained to them that my job was to work with them on their projects and not to "fetch" art materials for them and the class period was beautiful! We had a great time. The second class did not go so well. The difficult thing about class time to work on projects is that people can talk as long as they get work done. Well this group cannot control the volume! I had to yell to the person next to me to talk to her about her project and it's impossible for me to be heard over all those voices. Michael had to come in and help me get them under control. So tomorrow we have a talk about volume and leaving personal problems at the door. Michael also does not want to perform our show on the theater's stage because of all the obstacles on the set. It is not a STAR friendly set. So he found out a black box space was available at the Egg and wants that space so bad. Naturally, it would cost the theater to rent out the space- which of course they said no to because the bottom line is always money these days. Well, Michael found out about the decision at the end of the day and got really angry. I have never seen him so angry before. I gave him a hug but I don't think it helped. His anger is justifiable, the theater expects us to produce great results with a large number of kids but provides us with nothing. It's typical of my employer. I realize this recession calls for some tough decisions to be made, so I certainly wouldn't want their jobs. But this kind of stuff has been happening long before the economy collapsed. I don't know what the answer is. Current Mood: frustrated (1 Comment |Comment on this)